Being Discreet

What does it mean to be discreet? My favorite dictionary website says: "1. Judicious in one's conduct or speech, esp. with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect. 2. Showing prudence and circumspection; decorous 3. Modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious."

In plain English, that means knowing when to keep our mouths shut, and not doing things to draw attention to ourselves.

The word discreet is only used one time in the Bible in an instructional way. (The other two times were used to describe someone.) There are, however, quite a few verses that refer to discretion, which is the quality of being discreet. A synonym for discreet is prudent, and there are several references to prudence or being prudent.

Let's take a look at some of these verses, and see what we can learn from them.

If you look up at the top of the page, you will see where the Apostle Paul was saying that ladies need to be taught to be discreet (Titus 2:5). It wouldn't hurt young men, either, but we'll let that happen somewhere else. As mothers though, we can teach our sons to be discreet, right along with our daughters.

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

Have you known girls or women like this? Someone who is gorgeous on the outside, but will just say anything, and always needs to be the center of attention? Not a pretty site. It's like taking a beautiful diamond and sticking it in a pig's nose. Kind of takes away from the beauty, doesn't it? And the pig is still a pig.

A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion. Psalm 112:5

We all need to guide our affairs with discretion. This would fall under definition number two, showing prudence. In other words, using good sense.

The
simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going. Proverbs 14:15

If we are simple-minded, we will believe everything people tell us, everything we read, and everything we see on TV. Ladies, let's not be simple-minded. We need to get wisdom, so we can be prudent and look well to our going. Don't believe every thing; check things out. Search out the truth and believe that! As Proverbs says, seek wisdom and pursue it.

A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent. Proverbs 15:5

Young ladies, don't despise the instructions you get from your parents. I know sometimes it seems like they are always on your case, always preaching. It's because they love you. They want you to get through this life with as few painful mistakes as possible. If you listen to them, even when they're correcting you for something you've done (reproof), you will be prudent. You will be making a wise choice, and it will have good consequences for you.

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 19:14

See that ladies! If you are prudent, or discreet, you will be considered a gift from God to your husband. In this verse, God is saying to men, Your father may leave you a house and a pile of money as an inheritance, but I'll give you something better. I'll give you a good wife, who knows when to speak and when not to, who makes wise decisions, who is not out to catch the eye and attention of every man in town. He's also saying, if a man has a good wife like that, she is a gift from God. I don't know about you, but I'd rather my husband think I am a gift, than for him to think I'm a millstone around his neck! A pastor we had used to say, A prudent wife is from the Lord – who do the non-prudent ones come from?

Let's all try to be more discreet. We should all think twice, or three times, before letting fly with things we feel like saying. If something is told to us in confidence, it needs to stay that way. Don't even bring it up as a prayer request – too much gossip gets started that way. Let's be aware of our appearance and our actions, and not dress or act in a way that screams "Look at me!" And above all, we need to ask for the Lord's help in this, because we can't do any of it on our own.